As leaders, we often find ourselves reflecting on the events that have shaped us, driving our decisions, perspectives, and ultimately our approach to leadership. This process, known as autobiographical reasoning, involves looking back on our experiences and connecting the dots to understand how we’ve become who we are today. The stories we tell about ourselves are more than just memories – they are key to shaping our identities, both as individuals and as leaders.

In truth, these stories don’t capture every single detail. Instead, we choose the events that resonate most, that we feel have played a significant role in our growth. And these stories? They are not just for others – they are for us too. Even when no one is listening, we are constantly reshaping and refining these narratives, because telling our story helps us make sense of our lives.

I’ll share mine.

I grew up in a non-academic family, raised by a single mother who worked in a factory that developed photos (before the age of digital photography). My mom didn’t have a college degree, but she had an immense love for reading. She introduced me to the world of books, and it was this early exposure that sparked my own passion for learning. Thanks to her encouragement, the supportive network around us, and the Swedish education system that provided equal opportunities, I made it to college and eventually became the first in my family to earn a university degree.

Growing up, I often felt different. At school, it was because I did not have two parents who there at events like others’. At university, I was one of the few from a working-class background. In my professional life, I’ve mostly worked outside of Sweden, often in English and German, rather than my native language. Being different, at times, feels like both a blessing and a curse. When we focus too much on our differences, we risk turning them into self-fulfilling prophecies. The Pygmalion effect shows how our beliefs influence our behavior, often making our fears or expectations come true. However, feeling different also opened my eyes to the inequalities around me, making me connect with others who shared similar experiences. In the end, I’m proud of where I’ve come from – perhaps because of my background, rather than despite it.

A pivotal moment in my career was when I participated in a leadership training at Google. One of the exercises involved exploring our core values. At first, I thought it was a trivial task, but it became a turning point in my career. Through that exercise, I gained a deeper understanding of what truly matters to me. Since then, I’ve used my values as a compass for both personal and professional decisions. Whenever I feel that sense of discomfort or unease, I now recognize it as a sign that my actions may be out of alignment with those values.

This all brings us back to autobiographical reasoning. Once we understand the values that are important to us and recognize the experiences that have shaped our leadership journey, our vision becomes clearer. It’s as if the story starts to write itself. When we understand our own narrative, we gain the confidence to communicate our vision to others, and visionary leadership is what energizes and inspires people to work toward a shared goal.

So, I ask you: What is your leadership narrative? How have your experiences shaped the leader you are today?

Learn & Lead the Way,
Frida